Do You Have a High School Frenemy?

image of a woman in park on green grass arguing with friends

High School Frenemy?

Ah High School Frenemy? We All Had One!

Friendships are the key to our happiness in life, but not all friends have your best interests at heart. Often an High School Frenemy can appear on the scene doing more harm than good, and they always cause more trouble than they’re worth. Even, if you part company, they might still pop up at High School Reunions or you hear news of them from time to time.

What exactly is a high school frenemy? It's someone you've known from school, often high school who forced you to question why you’re even friends with them in the first place. There are five types of bad friends who you should rid from your life immediately:

The Brake

To be successful in life, you have to adapt to change and continuously move forward. A brake frenemy seems to be stuck in the past - they’re living in their hometown, working the same job they worked in high school and dating the same type of guys. While you’re out meeting new people and trying new things, this friend will purposefully hold you back. They want you to live in the past with them. They don't want you to move forward as an independent adult. It’s important for you to continue living your own life and not fall into the same habits as your friend, the brake. In reality, they are a frenemy, even if they don't initially appear that way.

The Betrayer

Have you ever had a friend who seemed to share every secret you told them? This is a frenemy who is what we call a betrayer - they betray your trust any chance they get. Trust, loyalty and honesty are some of the most important qualities any friendship should have. If one of your friends is an obvious betrayer, you’re much better off without them by your side. They are one of the worst kinds of frenemies....you think you can trust them, but you can't.

The Copycat

You tell a friend that you’re getting a new puppy, and the next day they’re at the pet store picking a dog of their own. You describe your dream vacation to California, and your friend is buying plane tickets to L.A. This friend is a copycat - they don’t have a mind or personality of their own, so they steal your ideas instead. Whether it’s buying the same purse you bought a week ago or flirting with a new love interest of yours, the copycat will always be one step behind you. They don't really care about you, they just want to copy because they are a true frenemy with no imagination or sense of self.

The Black Cloud

It’s completely normal to complain to your friends about a crabby husband or unruly teenager, but a black cloud friend rarely says much else. They’re pessimistic and love to share their troubles with you. This type of frenemy wants to drag you down to their level....beware 😈😈😈 This 'friend' probably doesn’t listen to any advice you give them, and it may be obvious that they’d rather be down in the dumps than floating among the clouds. A bad attitude is contagious, so ditch this friend before their negative energy brings you down.

The Tempter

What many people might call a bad influence, a tempter friend is someone who tries to talk you into doing things you know are wrong for you. Maybe you’re on a strict diet and they’re shoving a slice of pizza in your face or trying to convince you to hit up a club at 2:00am. when you have an important meeting in the morning. Though it’s nice to have friends that help bring you out of your comfort zone, a tempter has it out for you for one reason or another. Whether they’re jealous of your accomplishments or trying to derail your progress, you’d be smart to cut them out of your circle.

Getting Over Having a High School Frenemy

In the end, most of us had a high school frenemy—someone who could switch from friend to rival in the blink of an eye. Perhaps, they made everything feel like a competition, whether it was about grades, friendships, or who wore the coolest shoes. Or maybe they betrayed us in some way. Yet, somehow, these relationships taught us valuable lessons about trust, boundaries and how to navigate the drama that seemed to follow us wherever we went. Looking back, those frenemies were just part of the process, helping us grow and learn how to handle the complexities of relationships. We learnt to be more independent and resilient as a result of their darkness. So there was a silver lining and we can now keep a positive mindset about what we learnt.

Though it can be difficult for you to part ways with someone you once considered a friend, you need to remind yourself what a healthy friendship looks like. Besides, you can use the time you won’t be spending with high school frenemies and bad friends to spend more time with your good friends instead.

If you’re concerned about a certain friend in your life and need an outsider’s perspective, give Absolute Soul Secrets a call. One of our talented psychics can talk you through your dilemma and help you work out a solution. As they say, you can count your real friends on one hand.

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