The joys of being in a long-term relationship are endless: romantic stability, a guaranteed date for any occasion and above all, the comfort of having someone that knows all your ins and outs.
However, after being with the same person for a while, many people find themselves growing less attracted to their partner and falling out of lust. Whether it’s age, parenting or a gruelling work schedule, life’s normal stressors can cause physical attraction to escape an otherwise happy couple.
You may notice yourself wanting less time in the bedroom or fantasising about other people more frequently. While neither of these things are cause for serious concern, they’re definitely signs that your partner may not turn you on like they used to.
Luckily, there are several things you can do to relight the fire and ignite a new, invigorated spark. Below are a few ways you can regain the physical attraction you once held for your partner:
- Remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place by thinking back to a time when you found them completely irresistible. Recount the feeling of getting lost in their eyes for the first time or being wrapped in their arms after an extended time apart. Taking a trip down memory lane will remind you how attracted you once were to them and help reinvigorate those same feelings.
- Make an effort to spend more time alone, without distractions like the TV or a barking dog. One-on-one interactions in a quiet, private setting allow you to connect with your partner on a deeper level and focus all of your attention on them, creating an environment that encourages physical attraction.
- Take a step (or two) out of your usual environment. Schedule a date night at a spot you don’t usually visit – a local restaurant you’ve never tried, a new bar or a play that just opened – to break free from the norm. Spending time with your partner in a different setting allows you to discover new traits to admire and remember qualities that attracted you to them when you first started dating.
Taking the initiative to rekindle the fire is wise, but remember: communication is key. If you feel like passion is lacking in your relationship, have an open discussion with your partner about your concerns. If they feel the same way, put your heads together and brainstorm some unique ways to create a new spark. If the feeling isn’t mutual, be cautious not to hurt their feelings while conveying your thoughts openly and honestly.
Don’t be afraid to mix things up. Routine is often to blame for losing attraction, so be open to new experiences and say yes to spontaneous adventures. Recognising the problem and having the mindset to fix it means you’re half way there, and the end goal is more than worth it.
