Taking Control of your Jealousy

image of a woman glaring away as her boyfriend speaks to another woman with champagne in their hands

Some people can be so afraid of losing the one they love, that they start showing signs of jealousy through insecurity, lack of confidence, the need to know and control everything about you and your movements etc. This becomes quite smothering for the other person in the relationship. This type of jealousy will do so much damage to the relationship, you end up losing what you feared the most……..the one you love.

In some cases, jealous rage can lead to physical and emotional abuse. It can even become fatal where one person in the relationship can no longer control their unfounded jealousy and snaps into a jealous rage killing their partner. Unfortunately, I have lost a close friend in exactly that way, and it is a devastating loss for all involved.

What is jealousy?

Jealousy is a natural emotion that we all have the ability to feel and express. It is a survival instinct that we all have wired into us. However, it is what we choose to do with that part of our makeup that can make all the difference. By taking the time to maintain a healthy, emotional self, by stepping back and reflecting on how certain experiences make you feel and react, you will be more likely to recognise the disruption that jealousy can create.

Recognising what triggers jealousy in oneself or in your partner for example, and taking steps toward controlling your reactions and beliefs to these triggers, will be the difference between a positive, healthy life, with balanced happy relationships OR, if the little green eyed monster is left to run wild and untamed, you may find yourself living a difficult life navigating your way through your emotions, thoughts and feelings. If this is the case, it is highly likely you will also experience problematic relationships.

Remember jealousy doesn’t always just relate to romantic relationships or infidelity. Your partner may be jealous of the relationship you have with your family or children. You may be jealous of a work colleague and try to control what they do in the workplace, or try to take credit for their behind the scenes hard work, or you may know someone who does this.

In this case I have used references to jealousy in relationships, but you will be able to identify jealousy in any situation. Whether you find yourself as the jealous one, caught up in a relationship with someone who is jealous or you know someone who has problems with jealousy, continue to read on and find out that there are ways to overcome jealousy.

Some of the disguises jealousy likes to wear.

Lack of trust – from over questioning your loved one’s whereabouts, to secretly checking their phone messages, emails and social media accounts. Following them or even quizzing their friends.

Control – Feeling the need to control your partner as in where they can go, which friends and family members they can spend time with.

Accusations or intimidating behaviour – this behaviour can also be another way in which jealousy shows itself. You may find your partner very intimidating when being accused or interrogated.….feeling the need to prove your innocence after being accused of doing something that you didn’t do. This will create deep rifts in any relationship.

To be able to overcome jealousy, you need to become aware there is a problem in the first place. As the above disguises of jealousy indicate, jealousy is not going to benefit you or those around you any time soon. Take some simple steps to recognise your triggers and work on changing, or at least overhauling your belief system regarding situations that may trigger your jealousy, or be able to recognise it in others and suggest they look into getting it under control.

If you are someone who does have problems with jealousy, you may realise after recognising your triggers, that your partner or your work colleague may not be the reason behind your jealousy after all. You may have old hurts from previous relationships that have shattered your self-esteem or trust in others, outdated beliefs that make you feel you are not good enough can also lead to low self-esteem and self-critical behaviour, negative self-talk which in turn will continue their vicious cycle all over again, usually causing you to become jealous and overly critical of those around you.

Changing emotional thoughts and reactions is not as scary as it sounds. Making small steps towards this empowers you, and allows you to take control of your negative emotions. You will begin to notice positive changes in your relationships and other areas of your life too. Small frequent steps such as becoming aware of your thoughts, your self-talk, how you choose to initially react to experiences that may trigger your jealousy will allow you to behave in a different way and take a different course of action. Over time you will see these difficult jealousy traits be replaced by positive thoughts and actions.

An example – You may be out with your partner for the evening. You come back from the bathroom and notice your partner chatting with someone else…..do you instantly feel threatened, angry, do you start comparing yourself to the person your partner is talking to? Do you storm over ready to make a scene or make your partner feel as though they have done the wrong thing? Or do you walk over, proudly put your arm around your partner and introduce yourself? That is two classic examples in how that scenario could be handled…….which one would you choose?

Remember it is about being aware of what triggers that stirring of jealousy, recognising the signs as it begins to creep in allows you to cut if off at the pass, to acknowledge what you are feeling, and reach for a better feeling thought, distract yourself and choose a less emotional reaction.

To help recognise or release some of these triggers or to find positive and productive ways to overcome jealousy, low self-esteem and self-doubt, book a psychic reading with one of the talented phone psychics at Absolute Soul Secrets today. You will see how easy it is to step out of the emotion and behaviour associated with jealousy into a more positive, confident you!

Author: Psychic Chris