How To Recognise a Toxic Relationship

image a woman involved in a toxic relationship

Letting go of toxic people and experiences in your life can be a major step towards a happy and productive life.

Sadly many people have either experienced a toxic relationship or know someone who has. Sometimes on more than one occasion!

Anyone who has experienced a toxic relationship will tell you it is a very slow and confusing path to the suffocation of your soul. Your very being. These types of relationships often build with toxic intensity over time, slowly but surely eroding your confidence and your spirit as it grows.

It is important to understand that not all of these relationships are of the romantic variety. You can be in a toxic relationship with anyone from your partner, friend, parent/s, work colleague, children and anyone in-between that you interact with.

There are many different signs and symptoms that can define this unhealthy type of relationship, however, some signs are quite uniform across the board and are often born out of the need for control.

Signs to be aware of…

Now I say signs to be aware of, because a lot of these signs can be quite hard to detect. At times being overlooked as a misunderstanding, someone having a ‘bad day’ etc. As mentioned, these types of behaviours are not always on display early on in the relationship. They often become more frequent and build with intensity over time.

There is usually one person in the relationship that will feel the need to have the upper hand, the power and control over the relationship. The need for this control is often born out of their own fears and or lack of self-worth, which has manifested itself into a nasty, negative behaviour. Jealousy, blame, criticism, someone taking credit for your efforts in the workplace, constant put downs and being belittled are all very common traits of a toxic relationship.

The one who appears to have the upper hand or control in this relationship will often target certain characteristics that you are already self-conscious about. And let me tell you, if you weren’t lacking self-esteem before becoming involved in a toxic relationship, you will be by the time you are finished!

Emotional unavailability (as in avoidance, ignorance, the silent treatment and sulking) are also characteristics to be aware of. Emotional blackmail, such as threats regarding the longevity of the relationship or even the fear alone, of breaking up in some cases, can be enough to give this person the power trip they are seeking.

Constant drama, being surrounded by negativity and blame, unprofessional conduct in the workplace and feeling undermined are also tell-tale signs of a toxic relationship.

As you can see there are many ways these signs can present themselves, and once they become more consistent, you may often find yourself thinking you are just going through a rough patch. Unfortunately the consistency of this behaviour wears you down on all levels and your self-doubt and lack of self-worth start creeping in and taking over. You end up losing yourself to someone who is always going to be one step ahead of you, in many cases, becoming co-dependant on this person as you lose all belief in yourself and your own abilities.

One of the main reasons we find ourselves in a toxic relationship is due to our own lack of self-esteem, lack of self-worth, outdated beliefs about what you deserve in life etc. Basically, by law of attraction, you will attract or be attracted to people with similar thoughts, feelings and emotional beliefs and vibrational energy. The early attraction will often overshadow the negative struggle for position that goes undetected to begin with. Once that has become established, the ‘signs’ start creeping into more and more of your time spent together. Often confirming your earlier outdated beliefs of ‘I knew this was all I deserved’.

How to let go…

As mentioned the relationship is often quite well established by the time this has become a noticeable problem. Some of us can’t see the pattern and continue to work harder at being better, at pleasing the other person, while forgoing their own happiness. Some on the other hand, don’t want to see what is really happening.

Remember your own fears and insecurities may very well keep you stuck. You may fear if you end this relationship, nothing better may come alone. Don’t let that fear stop you from achieving healthy and happy relationships any longer. Unfortunately this is often why people repeat the same process and find themselves in and out of toxic relationships and environments.

You may step away from one, only to attract another because you still have the same outdated beliefs and the harsh words of others reminding you ‘this is all you deserve’. The old saying of what you put out, is what you get back is so true in these cases. If you are not feeling good about yourself, chances are you will attract someone who will magnify that for you through disrespect and very little consideration for you in general.

Anyone who has been involved in the soul destroying experience of a toxic relationship, would tell you they would rather be alone than be with someone who makes them feel worthless and unhappy.

Instead of feeling that you must continue to endure this confusion in case nothing else comes along, use this time to set some boundaries for yourself regarding your direction in life. If you have old hurts that no longer support you and your direction, take some steps toward healing and releasing these outdated emotional hurts from your past.

Take back control…

If you are not sure how or where to start with setting your boundaries, or how to begin healing and releasing what no longer supports you, book yourself a psychic phone reading with one of the talented psychics at Absolute Soul Secrets. Find ways to attract what you desire and deserve in your life. Empowering yourself with a psychic reading enables you to feel more positive and clear about yourself and your worth. You will also start and continue to clear some of those outdated beliefs, opinions, and stale emotional hurts.

As mentioned earlier, stepping away from toxic people and experiences in your life is such a huge step in the direction for a happy and productive life, decide to take that first step today. You will feel more confident in yourself and your life experiences. You will start making better choices in your life and have belief in yourself again. Not only will you start to notice life becoming easier and flowing more smoothly, you will also notice more positive people and experiences are coming to you as well

No one wants to be unhappy and weighed down by someone else’s needs to dictate to you, and make you feel less of a person in the process. Take the time to reflect and be truthful with yourself about the health of your relationship. If you are unhappy because it is toxic, honour yourself and strive for something better. It is out there and you deserve it.

Author: Rose Smith