If you answered yes to the above question, strap yourself in and read on.
You will realise that you are not alone in your confusion and feelings. There are others walking the same rickety path you find yourself on. If you are in love with a married man, then you probably have a million questions, what if’s, worst case scenarios and happily ever after’s flying around in your head. This isn’t helped much by the butterflies in your heart, and the fact that you cannot stop thinking about Mr Married.……causing a world of emotional uncertainty. This article will help you navigate your way through this roller coaster of emotions that you are experiencing and help remove some of your confused, emotional and outdated thinking.
This article is also about giving those of you who may be contemplating becoming involved in an affair with a married man, a bit of insight into what it can really be like, what you will more than likely end up feeling after all is said and done, and hopefully reason enough NOT to fall for a married man.
Some of you who may normally sit in the judgement seat of people having affairs, this story is not something to skim over. How many times have you heard someone say “Oh it will never happen to me”?
Regardless of our position on affairs, this article will give you some insight into what it can really be like and how those that enter this domain heal the heartache once it is over. In saying that I do not condone affairs or infidelity, nor do I sit in judgement of those who have affairs. I believe these people and the connections that are felt, are somewhat meant to happen by being brought across each other’s paths for example. It is the choice of action between these people that can be entirely life changing.
Some people find it exciting and arousing to be involved in a secretive…what do I call it? A love affair? Are you both really in love with each other? Mr Married might be saying and doing all the right things (for the moment), but you need to remember that Mr Married does have and will continue to have commitments and priorities outside and first and foremost above your affair.
This means you will not feel as if you are ever a priority to Mr Married, even though when things were hot and steamy and everything seemed so amazing and possible at the start, when you both made plans, and then reality bites and starts playing havoc with your time, your thoughts, your emotions, moods , work and home life with children, family and friends.
You may have begun to notice how all of the big plans you both shared (him leaving his wife because the marriage has been bad for a long time, or his wife no longer shows him attention or affection, doesn’t understand him like you do etc, etc…), are now becoming distant words as you start to see things coming apart at the seams.
By this stage you are getting more of a realistic view of how loving a married man can work out for you, and we have only just scratched the surface.
Or is it a sex affair?
Do You and Mr Married schedule time for each other to meet up in out of the way places, so as not to be easily recognised by others, have some steamy rushed sex and then hear, “Ooops is that the time, I have to go home to my wife and family”, or “it’s our wedding anniversary and I will be late for our special dinner now”.
If it is a sex affair you are having with Mr Married, then more than likely you will be feeling rejected, upset, used , overlooked and not worthy. You may even start wondering what is it about his wife you don’t have……Why does he keep making his wife and family a priority?? I mustn’t be enough!! More than likely you have become more attached to Mr Married than either of you intended and you may start to want to have more time with him, and get upset and confused when he can’t accommodate that.
Once again the impact affairs can have in the long run, and how to navigate your way through the pain and confusion is discussed further in the emotional rollercoaster section of this article.
Or is it a connection that just happened, and now we are confused and don’t know what to do. As I mentioned earlier I do believe in these cases that certain people are brought across each other’s paths for specific reasons……this does not necessarily mean it is for the purpose of having an affair, however if we rush into something without putting much thought into the future outcome, then an affair is often what is taken from these chance meetings.
By taking a step back to observe this connection, you may find the real reason for connecting or meeting this person. Usually once the boundary of sexual intimacy is crossed, there is usually no returning to friendship, and in most cases, the real reason for the two of you meeting (spiritual connection for example) is overlooked and diminished by the hurt feelings that can often take over in these types of connections.
Step right up for your ticket to the emotional rollercoaster ride folks!
As mentioned, confusion usually surrounds affairs. Ranging from the uncertainty of when you will next see Mr Married, he hasn’t called in three days…..did you do something to upset him? Feelings of frustration trying to suddenly needing to prioritise your meetings with Mr Married over your long term friendships, family, children, possibly even your own husband or partner. All the while not really being able to say why you can’t catch up with them. He is a secret remember? You can’t bring him along to the pub, or dinner to meet your friends, what if his wife’s friends see him? Or colleagues from his work see him with you?. And more than likely Mr Married won’t be very comfortable with such a connection with your friends and family.
Confusion also stems from the fact that Mr Married has made you feel pretty amazing, paying attention to you, showing interest in seeking you out and making the effort to pursue you. That can all be very flattering and exciting.
In some cases the man does not actually disclose the fact that he IS MARRIED, and you may think that you have just hooked the catch of the year. Unfortunately many women may find themselves steaming headlong into the direction of Mr Married hoping to find Mr Exciting……, only to find out later that he was Mr Wrong all along!
Before you allow yourself to become involved in any relationship, take your time to know what it is that you are wanting to enjoy in your life, both now and in the future, and allow yourself to be open to meeting someone to complement that, because they are looking for the same experiences, or are walking the same direction in life as you. Take your time to know all you can about the person showing you interest and attention. You are in charge of who you let into your life. Make wise choices for yourself.
Extra marital affairs can go from zero to out of control in no time at all. Often starting with: “We both feel the same, we can talk about anything, we talk, text, email etc all day every day” to…… minimising contact with friends and family because you are too busy making sure you will be free and available if Mr Married might be able to pencil you in at short notice. What is being neglected while you and Mr Married are talking all day every day? What is being overlooked when you are off having coffee, sex, lunch etc with Mr Married?
Yourself, your beliefs, your self-respect, your partner, family, conscience, communication with your partner and family. You are first and foremost neglecting yourself. You have become so caught up in the euphoria of what this zero to out of control affair energy can conjure up, that you have become blind to your beliefs about getting involved with Mr Married, being the other woman, waiting patiently and excusing disappointment when he doesn’t show up, or he puts you and your plans off…..again…..or his wife isn’t well, or it is his daughter’s birthday, his wedding anniversary.
By overlooking yourself first and foremost, you are setting yourself up for disappointment in your life. Your birthdays, Christmases, special family events that you want your man to be with you, will usually be spent alone or rushed because he is living a double life, and has somewhere else to be. You have changed so much of your life routine to hinge on these secret meetings, that if Mr Married was to say he was going away of a family trip for a weekend, a week or a month, you would fall to pieces. All the what if’s will start rushing through your thoughts and you will once again start to reject your own rational thinking and your self-worth.
Having the knowledge and understanding of how these situations usually begin, evolve and destruct can save you a lot of hurt in the long run. The destruction I might add is not only going to have a lasting effect on yourself but your marriage and or relationship if you are in one, your children and their outlook on their own future relationships, your parents, siblings, your friends that more than likely disagreed with this plan from the get go, or stepped away all together from your friendship because of your choices going against their beliefs, their friendship with your spouse etc….not to mention your heart being at risk of being crushed in the process. There is also Mr Married’s wife, children etc to think about.
There is no doubt that this has been or is continuing to be a rocky experience for you and all concerned, but the good news is that you can heal your way through this by doing what you love, by making time to be with the ones that love and respect you and mean so much to you. You can find ways of lessening the hurt that usually comes with having an affair, and slowly work your way back into believing in who you are and the goodness you have to share with those around you.
Take the time to acknowledge why you felt you could only have someone who was not fully available to come into your life. Did you think that would be a safer option for not getting attached and maybe not getting hurt? You won’t be the first to think that and I am sure you won’t be the last either.
Take the time to be true to yourself, doing the things that make you shine, get plenty of rest, fresh air, good sleep, meditate etc. Bring yourself back to the now and be kind and patient with yourself. The right man, who is 100% available and committed to you will present himself when you are 100% available and ready to be committed to a loving relationship.
Remove any old doubts about yourself with a psychic telephone reading today with one of Absolute Soul Secrets accurate psychics today. Clear your path of any doubts and or blockages for a positive direction forward into a future loving relationship. Learn to manifest or work with crystals that will bring you all the beauty you seek in life. Put your own energy back into you and watch your life grow.