Each person’s task in life is to become an increasingly better person – Leo Tolstoy.
As the quote says, Self-Development is about becoming a better person. It is about taking the time to reconnect and be truthful to yourself. It is about removing the mask you wear and delving into what you DO and DON’T like in your life. Self-Development is about identifying what is and isn’t working for you right now, and being confident in making some positive changes toward a better you.
Self-Development is a Choice
Self-Development starts with a personal choice, followed by a decision and then action. Example: I can’t live like this anymore, or… I don’t want to struggle financially any more. I want a better job, I want to be a better person, have better relationships etc etc.
Some people would probably fill a page with what they would like to see or experience differently in their life, and if that is the case… that is also okay. Just be sure not to initially overload yourself in the process. You will find as you continue to develop a better self, many of these areas will start to fall into place anyway.
Like any change, it will feel a little foreign to begin with, there may even be mixed emotions on occasion, such as fear, confusion and doubt along the way… make sure not to let that stop you from improving yourself.
Believe in Yourself
Most times, the changes that you are wanting to see, or at best day dreaming about, seem impossible, out of your reach. You may even feel overwhelmed at where to start, if you are doing it right, what if this and what if that???? This is the reason many people often settle for the sake of settling. Believing that they can never be or do anything different. Outdated beliefs and old conditioning can act as a roadblock or obstacle to your progression forward, so can believing that you don’t deserve these positive experiences in your life, that you are in some way, not good enough… not worthy.
Being stuck in a rut or remaining stagnant in life experiences that tend to repeat themselves, are also good indications that you can and will benefit from self-development. You may find yourself stuck in the same old, repetitive cycles out of habit. Becoming used to things always being so out of reach, that the belief of it ever being better, or becoming more positive or even slightly different, seems like it is impossible… so we humans just settle and get stuck in our ruts!
Unfortunately in this day and age, people are all in too much of a hurry to practice patience. Too impatient to wait to see their actions create change. Many often reverting back to the outdated beliefs and rut type thinking… No way could I make changes to achieve my desires, leading a happier life, to become healthy, secure that new job, afford that new car.
Remember, Self-Development is about connecting with yourself and learning to be able to look at the areas of your life that are no longer helping you move in a smooth and positive direction. Being patient with yourself during this process is very important. This time also allows you to acknowledge what these areas, issues, experiences, habits, people, beliefs, addictions etc. represent to you, and why they are holding you back from achieving happiness and fulfillment. As confronting as that may sound, rest assured it isn’t as difficult as you may think.
Remind yourself this practice helps in the process of releasing and healing the emotional energy that these areas may hold for you – which ultimately have been holding you back from living the life you want. Just worth remembering that fear, out dated beliefs, and lack of self-belief and self-worth, are just a few of the areas that can manifest into bad habits or worse still, not achieving your goals at all.
Release Old and Outdated Beliefs
As you start to release the old and outdated beliefs, you will begin to make room for more positive choices, decisions, thoughts, people and experiences in your life. This point of change is a significant time in your life. You will begin to feel clearer in your thinking, your mind will be sharper and you will start to feel energised. This is the opportunity you have been looking for to shine your own light. To do something constructive, positive, different, encouraging, helpful, educational, healing etc. These are just a few suggestions with regard to the possible changes you can make in your life through self-development.
In many cases our choices and decisions are often made during difficult or trying times. Perhaps at a low point where life may seem as if it has lost its momentum or rolled to a stop, I look at the point that some people may have to hit rock bottom before they are able to find a solid footing to push back up from.
Sorting the Good from the Not So Good
This can be a bit of a tricky process for many people initially, so don’t give up if you find this a little strange to start with. It may seem foreign because you have become so used to life just being a certain way and expect no more. In other words you have settled for the sake of settling.
Attachment to what no longer works for you can be difficult to step away from at times. The attachments that have formed over time have become your normal. This can be to family, friends, partners, constant drama in your life, addictions etc.
Be patient with yourself while working through whom and what you chose to keep in your life. Is it going to help in your development or hinder you in your smooth progression forward. Remember this pruning of the not so good from your life, doesn’t have to happen all at once. Self-Development is a continual progression… a work in progress so to speak. As you progress, so does your life and the people, opportunities, experiences and relationships around you. You may also find that certain areas that have been problematic in the past, will naturally fall away, out of your focus all together.
As a hobby I grow my own roses, and to get the most beautiful blooms, you must prune the dead wood. Practise the same in your life by sifting out what is no longer healthy or helpful in your life.
Magnifying the Good
I guess this process is like fertilizing your lawn. The stronger and healthier the grass – (you and your direction and choices), the less weeds – (the not so good in your life), will be able to penetrate. The less opportunity the weeds get to grow, the healthier and stronger the grass becomes. Eventually with care, attention and patience, you will have created a lovely, consistent and smooth lawn.
Magnifying the good is just the same. The more you focus your time, energy, $$ etc. on what you enjoy and what is good in your life, the less you will focus on what may not be working. Once again it is important to take your time to think about what works for you. Be clear with what you want to experience in your life. If it is a relationship you are wanting in your life, don’t focus on the fact that you may be single and feel lonely… acknowledge it yes, but turn your attention, thoughts and ideas towards what type of qualities you want to see in your future partner or what experiences you would like to share. If it is financial freedom you are wanting to experience and create in your life, do not focus your energy or attention on what we call poverty thinking. “Oh I can’t afford …, I struggle from pay to pay etc. Once again acknowledge your financial position and then focus, affirm and manifest what you would rather experience instead.
Acknowledge What Isn’t Working for You
Acknowledge what isn’t working for you and why you feel this way. What makes it so important to you at this time. Are you trying to fill a void to make it feel better without having to actually deal with what is behind the poverty thinking? Acknowledgement helps to heal areas that hold you back, areas that find you self-sabotaging, creating more of the same or being fearful of change and or success.
Remember, you have sifted the good from the not so good and decided what to keep. This means you are happy to work with and focus your attention in and on these areas. When you acknowledge what you are letting go of, and why you choose to do so you will feel liberated, empowered. This process aids in the healing of outdated beliefs, hurts, and the effects of being exposed to this not so good in your life. Once you have identified problematic areas and focused less on them and more towards what you have got working in your favour and your future goals, you will see yourself begin to progress in the right direction. You will notice a smoother, more positive flow to your life.
Ways To Enhance Your Positives
By enhancing and magnifying the positives and the good in your life, you tend to weed out the stress, anguish, confusion, anxiety and fear in your day to day living. You will begin to start enjoying this experience called life! Simply start by watching your thoughts. It can be very easy to get caught up in negative thinking when you are stressed or struggling. Even when things are difficult, focus your mind on something more positive. Reach for a better feeling thought.
- Practise meditation – this helps bring and maintain clarity and positivity and also assists in recuperation of lost or broken sleep (sometimes as a result of worry).
- Get enough rest – it is hard to feel on top of life when you are burnt out from running after everyone else.
- Stay hydrated – drink plenty of water, this keeps you sharp and focused, enabling you to think and function better.
- Gentle exercise – walks, swimming, gardening, yoga, tai chi etc. produce the happy hormones in your body – making you more positive in general.
Affirmations are a fantastic way to promote positive change and self-growth. Affirmations are not only good for showing gratitude for the positives in your life, but are also great for manifesting the new change and experiences you want to see in your life. These handy little sentences are also a great way to lift your spirits when things are difficult. For example “ I am grateful for the fact that I have a happy and loving partner in my life… I am grateful for the fact that my family are happy and healthy. I am grateful that I have a fantastic job that I look forward to every day”. Word your affirmations in a positive way, rather than – “I wish my partner spoke to me properly and the kids didn’t argue so much. At least then I might feel less exhausted and actually enjoy going to work”. Get the picture?? Let your Self-Development changes become your new normal. Bringing in and allowing what you want to experience and achieve. Enjoying a happy life.
About the Author
Psychic Chris is a long-standing psychic reader at Absolute Soul Secrets. If you need some direction in how you can achieve the happier life you deserve, please feel free to contact one of our gifted psychics at Absolute Soul Secrets. They are available 24/7.