Free Yourself From High Expectations

image of woman breaking free from chains

For the past 35 years I have been working as a psychic. The last 3 years has been spent working on the phone line with Absolute Soul Secrets. The essence of the calls I receive are related to people that are in conflict with love, work, family, friends and money. The reality is that this conflict is brought about by their own or other peoples expectations relating to the respective issue.

Expectations when taken and projected onto a global scene have severe consequences. The “wars” raging currently and in the past on our planet are all down to each side’s expectations. Take the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, it is over who gets what land and how it’s controlled with both sides and splinter groups within each having their own expectations.

It is my opinion that we are all dying slowly on this ‘cross of expectation’, nailed to it by our own belief system and that which we allow to be imposed upon us by our loved ones, jobs, friends and life in general

What is Expectation? It is defined as believing that something is going to happen or believing that something should be a certain way, our way of believing of course. We make ourselves the Judge plus Jury and are completely comfortable with that thinking.

What brought this article to life, after percolating in my thoughts for some time, was nothing earth shattering like a war but simply a Tai Chi course. I had been looking forward to doing this activity for a number of years. Finally I found the time to do it, pushing more into my day than I should have (as we all tend to do these days). I had the expectation that I could manage it. Wrong, with hindsight, that decision was an excessive expectation on my part; it was like the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I went into the ten week, level one course of Tai Chi with the expectation that it would promote better health, improve concentration, self-defence skills and an over sense of well-being. There is an old Chinese saying: “Whoever practises Tai Chi regularly will in time gain the suppleness of a child, the strength of a lion, and the peace of mind of a sage.”

Classes started at 7.30pm on a weekday. I finished work at 7.00pm, by the time I got there I had 5 minutes to spare. You could say I was tired from my long and demanding day at work. The rushed drive to get there on time was not helping to reduce my stress level; getting out of my comfort zone in doing something I had never done was also helping to fan the flames of my stress. Foolishly I hadn’t taken into consideration my lack of any body coordination and how it would affect my learning this new skill of Tai Chi. My beautiful wife Christine will never go on the dance floor with me for fear of the dangers from my two clumsy feet. Christine’s definition of my dance style is summed up in this descriptive manner, “a stick insert on heat.”

I came out of my first class vowing to myself in very strong internal dialog that I would never go back. I had allowed my stress level to go through the roof, due to my inability to master what I thought at first looked like a few simple movements. The rest of my class appeared to be doing much better than I so I couldn’t blame the teacher.

In the following week Christine told me that she had noticed a marked change in my mood. I seemed down and irritable. I told her that something I had looked forward to for so long was turning into a nightmare for me. Should I go back to the course and humiliate myself more or bury a dream that had burned so brightly in me for years and promised to fill me with a deeper level of understanding of myself. In a way the course had already done that but not in the way I had expected.

I did go back and finish my level one. My continuation of the course was largely due to my teacher at the second lesson telling me he thought I had done well in my first lesson. He went on to say that it would take years to master these movements. He smiled at me and said that I had expected too much from myself.

I have an old friend of many years that had just started a new job recently, boy how stressed was he after only one day working there. He told me he was drowning and not coping. After talking to him for a while about this situation I got him to see that he was expecting too much from himself and his company too were expecting to much too soon. He had been dropped in the “deep end” and left to swim on his own. The person he was replacing had left before my friend had started and had taken the procedure manuals with him when he had left. So key advice on how to handle his situation I found on the internet and passed on to my friend which I will share in my next article.

So, what to do about “having high expectations” you ask. They are a part of life! Expectations do, however, produce anxiety and increase our stress levels. If in our day to day life we constantly evaluate our expectations and where possible keep the excessive ones in check, or if we are lucky re-calibrate our thinking altogether, our stress levels will be reduced and we will be allowing space for gaps within our thought process to form thus allowing insight from the Universe to flood into us and help guide our path ahead. Don’t let your life be governed by “excessive expectations”. Let go and trust the Universe.

Please feel free to share your thoughts on “high expectations” by emailing me at Please put in the subject line – “Psychic Thomas your article on High Expectations”. It is wonderful to get other viewpoints on topics of interest to us all.

Author: Thomas