“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread”. - Vincent Van Gogh
Am I Actually Ready for a Relationship?
Relationships, even between the best of long term partners, can be difficult to maintain at times. There can also be so many uncertainties - fears, old conditioning/labelling, old hurts, lack of trust etc. All of this can make entering a new romantic relationship feel overwhelming and uncertain. Many of us do ask ' Am I ready for a relationship?' and 'Do I even want a relationship?'
Read on as we look at some of the most natural ways to attract what you desire into your life. And even more importantly - what your past may tell you about your future relationships. Find out how to avoid making foolish relationship mistakes. Are you attracting the wrong people into your life?
First of all it is vitally important to ask yourself ' Am I ready for a relationship?'
Sounds like common sense right? Well, most people don't ask this question, so you're already ahead of the game if you're asking this! Well done you!
Now saying you “can’t wait for Mr/Miss Right to come into your life” and actually being ready to freely step beyond your fears, are two different things. Are you actually willing and able to move beyond anything that may have hurt you in the past? Can you be open minded toward your new partner and all that comes with them? Are you ready to be open to enjoying a new relationship in your life? These are all important questions to consider when contemplating a potential new romance and relationship readiness.
Past Relationship Trauma
If you are still carrying emotional hurt from previous relationships - then you still need to do a little more healing. These old hurts can be lodged deep down in your subconscious and/or in your physical body. At least some of it will need to be released before you enter into a new relationship. If not, it's quite likely that you'll be repeating past relationship patterns. You'll be carrying the past into a relationship with another person.
How Painful is it to Relive the Past Over and Over?
Many people tend to shy away from healing past hurts, thinking it is too painful. I look at it the other way, if you heal emotions and hurts as they come up, then you can move forward with a smooth direction in life. If you continue to tuck your emotions away and avoid working through what is still hurting you from the past, you will more than likely attract a new partner into your life that has similar and unchecked emotional hurts, and may both find yourselves repeating and creating more foolish relationship mistakes, hurts and worst of all, more of what you DO NOT WANT!
Emotional Wounds, Triggers and Healing
I often say that the only difference between a physical wound and an emotional wound, is that the emotional wounds aren’t always visible. If you are physically wounded, you treat the wound. Others can see it and are careful not to hurt you more. An emotional wound however gets much less attention. You may find it usually gets your attention when you are alone and feeling vulnerable, confused, angry and hurt etc etc. They are just some of the feelings that come under the emotional wound umbrella.
How to Heal your Emotional Wounds
Feeling Your Real Feelings
First thing, acknowledge what it is that you are feeling. You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops, but it is important to acknowledge what you are feeling. Sit with that feeling for a while, and remember why you are feeling that emotion. For example: “I am feeling sad and confused today because my relationships never work out and I am the one left not knowing what I did wrong!!” (or something more relevant to how you are feeling). Once again, sit with it for a little while. By doing this you are slowly desensitising yourself to that pain, along with the emotional memory that has been stored as a result. It can be scary at times, and you may feel emotionally overwhelmed but you can choose how long you sit in that memory and emotion for.
Glass Half Full or Half Empty?
Your next step is very important and can have two outcomes. You can follow that thought/acknowledgement above with ... “well I obviously wasn’t pretty enough/rich enough/maybe they have been seeing other people already”….conjuring up the worst things you can think about why you are the reason the relationship didn’t work. Or you can learn to create a positive mindset which will shape your future more beneficially than you think.
a new positive way of thinking that becomes a healthier more productive way of thinking about yourself, your relationships and future experiences in your life.
By creating a new positive way of thinking about yourself and your future, you will have a strong bearing on the direction of your life. You're more likely to feel comfortable as you empower yourself along the way. For example, you could say “I am feeling sad and confused today because my relationships never work out. I am the one left not knowing what I did wrong. I now allow myself to release this emotional sadness/ anger/ confusion etc and open myself to healing.”
Reframing Your Previous Relationship Experience
Turn the emotional upset you feel to your advantage and distract your negative thoughts toward something you enjoy doing. You could also focus your attention on something you want in your life. Now is a great time to start thinking about making a vision board or writing positive affirmations. This is where becoming clear with what you want in your life, and where you are going in the future comes in handy.
As mentioned, a vision board - (pictures from magazines, drawings, print outs, photos, words that are relevant to what you want to see come into your life - pasted onto cardboard), and or positive affirmations, are very useful and effective tools to release and heal old wounds. The best part about this is you are recycling the old hurt into the beautiful life experiences you wish to have instead.
Clarify Your Desires About Intimacy
The clearer you can be with your wants, needs and must haves, the better for all concerned. As mentioned earlier, if you are not ready yourself, you will attract someone else who is not ready. The same rule applies here. Once you have taken the time to be true to yourself and have a clear direction and focus of where you are heading, you will start attracting those experiences into your life and start creating the life you do want and enjoy.
By doing this you will also attract similar type minded people into your life who are also enjoying positive experiences in their life, who are also relationship ready. They too have also taken control of their old hurts and fears and worked their way through the emotion that comes with it and allowed the healing process to take place.
Positive Affirmations
A positive affirmation when needing to distract your thoughts away from old hurt could be something like:
“I am grateful for that I feel safe and secure in myself to attract .... (whatever you want to attract), and am enjoying positive experiences in my life now”.
Word your affirmations however you want, write the opposite of what you don’t want in your life. Write in what you feel is missing from your life. Remember “I am grateful for the fact that”…...and you can put anything you want on the end, as long as it is positive and true to what you are wanting to experience.
The affirmations and the use of your vision board or just positive visualisation of you enjoying your life are ways of manifesting and/or creating great future opportunities. Take your time to make them worthwhile.
When you are at you most emotional, I know the last thing you are going to want to do is go and stare at pictures cut from a magazine stuck on cardboard, or go and write ooey gooey mushy nice words about why you are supposedly grateful for something that A) You don’t even have and B) Can’t ever see yourself being good enough to have it in the future either. I also know that if you make the effort and at times force yourself to practise this each time you feel negative, worthless etc, you will begin to see and feel your life turn around in the areas that used to be your worst enemies.
A Real Life Example of Affirmations Come True
Unable to sleep one night after a nasty argument, I forced myself to get out of bed at 3am, and wrote three affirmations. I remember I was writing so hard on the page with the anger and hurt I was feeling, I tore the paper with my pen. And yes it was honestly the last thing I felt like doing, but I knew I needed to snap out of the negative I was feeling, and as we do, I was adding more and more negative thoughts to more negative thoughts.
The next morning before 9am, I had been given two of the things I had written in my 3am affirmations!! My point being when you are upset or emotionally distressed and you choose a distracting and positive action - vision board, affirmations, spending time in nature etc, doing what makes you feel good, you will then start creating more of what you are focused on (the good positive stuff you like), rather than creating more of what upset you in the first place! Feel free to use this technique in any other areas of your life that trouble you and you will begin feeling and living like a different person. It does take a little time to see change usually minimum of 4 weeks, but can vary, remain consistent and hang in there and you will be pleased you did.
Compatibility isn’t something you either have or don’t—it’s something that grows when both people are willing to put in the effort. Regularly checking in with each other and making adjustments as you go can help keep your connection strong.
Self-Awareness and Personal Growth
Once you commit to personal growth and becoming more self-aware, you're well on the way to becoming relationship ready for a romantic partnership. You will meet new people, more of whom will be compatible with you. Additionally, you'll also experience opportunities that have purpose and direction. No longer will you sit questioning your worth or ability to enjoy a happy, successful and loving relationship. You will be too busy enjoying your refreshed perspective of life and love.
5 Signs You're Psychologically Ready for a Relationship
Here are some signs that indicate you might be psychologically ready for a relationship:
1. Self-Awareness:
You have a good understanding of your own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. Loneliness doesn't have the bite that it used to. This self-awareness allows you to communicate your needs and boundaries effectively, making it easier to connect with a partner.
2. Emotional Stability and Mental Health:
You feel balanced and stable in your emotional life. You're able to manage stress, cope with challenges, and recover from setbacks without excessive turmoil. This stability is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.
3. Past Relationships Understood:
You've taken the time to reflect on past breakups and learned from them. You understand what worked, what didn’t, and what you truly want moving forward. This reflection helps you avoid repeating mistakes and fosters growth.
4. Willingness to Compromise:
You recognise that relationships require give-and-take. You're open to finding common ground and are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship, understanding that it’s a partnership that requires teamwork.
5. Desire for Connection, Not Dependency:
You want a relationship to enhance your life rather than complete it. You’re comfortable being alone and don’t feel the need to rush into a partnership to fill a void. This mindset fosters a healthier, more balanced connection with a partner.
Being psychologically ready for a relationship is about understanding yourself and being prepared to engage with another person in a meaningful way. If you resonate with these signs, you may be on the right path to finding a fulfilling relationship. Are you ready to get a relationship right? Only you can decide.
If you are not sure where to start in your healing process, a good therapist can help. Alternatively, book a psychic phone reading today at Absolute Soul Secrets and start recognising your blockages and areas which will prevent you from relationship happiness in the future. Your psychic reading will help the healing process begin for you. With clarity about your relationship needs, you can move freely towards your desires.
