Get Your Ex Back Quickly
The most effective formula for a happy relationship is two partners plus trust and dedication. If you want to quickly rekindle an old relationship because you have old feelings for an ex, this equation immediately becomes much harder to solve. Especially if your ex is seeing someone else! Wanting to get your ex back quickly or otherwise can sometimes end in disaster.
Thinking ‘i want my ex back’ might represent something deeper than you initially know. Please note the small ‘i’ in this statement because for some people, they become smaller as they become stuck back in the past. Sometimes, the ex may represent earlier simpler times where you felt safe and secure (at least at some point). There’s nostalgia for the past, for the security of family. Besides this, you may still love your ex at a deep level.
The thought of getting your ex back quickly while you’re with someone else can throw your emotions into a tormented whirlwind. Those feelings garner a massive amount of guilt, confusion and anxiety. They can even make you question the very foundation of your current marriage or relationship. How are you supposed to devote your heart and soul to your current partner if you’re still in love with your ex?
Get Back Together
Getting back together can make you feel like you’re living a nightmare or perhaps you’re in heaven…it could go either way. This dilemma is a source of extremes so one thing for sure, is to be absolutely certain of what you want before you take action.
Here are three steps you can take to work through the difficult dilemma of wanting to get back together with your ex:
Remember why the relationship ended.
It can be easy to glorify the relationship you once had with your ex and remember it more fondly than it actually was. Spend some time reviewing the issues that caused your relationship to end and write them down. Focus on why you and your ex decided that your relationship wasn’t worth the effort to salvage back then. Think about what drove you to that decision and if those issues would still be prevalent today.
Examine the good and the bad of getting your ex back quickly.
Sure there’s passion or some sort of dream that’s possible. Maybe it’s something else that draws you back. On the other hand, you and any current partner may have mutually decided to spend the rest of your lives together. That was a major life decision, and it probably wasn’t made overnight. It’s likely something you thought about for a while. You eventually realized that it was the best decision for you, your partner and your future family. But chances are, if everything was perfect between you and your partner now, you wouldn’t be longing for your ex. Therefore, you should focus on the positive aspects of your current relationship (if you have one) and see what you can do to fix the negative issues.
Ask yourself what you miss about your ex.
Don’t overlook the possibility that your feelings may be misleading you. You might not actually miss your ex; instead, you may just miss some specific aspect about your ex relationship. Maybe your ex was wild and spontaneous and you feel that your present relationship is more subdued, boring or predictable? Figure out what specifically is making you long for your ex and brainstorm some ways to inject those aspects into your current relationship.
Vital Relationship with Your Ex Questions to Ask Yourself
Before you do seek communication with your ex, and before you even want to win them back – think about why they are your ex. Ok, it’s time to really think. Ask yourself these possibly confronting but vitally important questions:
- Has anything substantially changed in both your lives so that the same mistakes won’t be made again?
- Is he/she seeing someone else and somehow that is encouraging you to win your ex back? Do you want what you can’t have?
- Has your ex changed their energetic pattern in relationships and have they clearly demonstrated that in a physical way? Talk is cheap…you need a physical situation or demonstration to provide you some assurance.
- Are you trying to get back with your ex rather than facing life on your own? Are you avoiding independence in some way?
- Are you trying to manipulate or make your ex do something that he/she really doesn’t wish to do?
- Do you want to get them back rather than deal with financial issues on your own?
- Do you want to get back with an ex just for the Sex? Money? Home?
- Do you want to win back your ex for the sake of any children?
- Do you wish to get back together because you still genuinely have love for your ex?
- Will you do absolute anything to make them want to get back with you? If the answer is yes, this is a real red flag. You might need to fully examine issues of codependency and your possible lack of self esteem?
- Do you tend to ‘lose yourself’ in relationships so that the partner’s needs become more important than yours?
- Do you want your ex back due to pressure from family, friends or society?
- Are you ok with giving your ex space to consider coming back in your life?
- Truly in your heart of hearts…ask if your ex is the one? In reality there’s not just one Soulmate as we can have many and they don’t all have to be romantic partners. They can also be friends, beloved pets or family members too.
- Are you parents divorced or did they separate? Are you just repeating a family pattern?
- Is your ex like your father or mother in some way? If so, then it’s your relationship with that parent that needs healing.
Take a step back to clearly and honestly face these questions before you engage with your ex about even looking to get back together. At some point you might say to your ex that these were the questions you asked yourself and now you would like to hear their answers to the same questions. Their answers might be quite enlightening!
Whilst these questions may be confronting, it’s better to know the truth than hide your head in the sand. The truth usually makes itself known as some point. Answering these questions will ultimately help you to examine your true feelings and to make a decision about reaching out to your ex. Your answers will clarify if and why you want to get back together with your ex.
Contact Your Ex?
Start talking to your ex about your feelings – Yay or Nay?
While it may seem scary to talk about these things, it might surprise your ex that you want them back in your life. Strong relationships are built on honesty, even when honesty entails difficult conversations. If you want to get your ex back, do be careful not to make them feel hurt in this conversation. There may be a positive reaction from your ex and they may have some great insights to offer. This conversation could also inspire them to want you back!
Don’t let yourself be too rattled by feelings for your ex. There’s bound to be some mixed feelings about previous relationships. These don’t necessarily mean an end to any current relationship. It’s a very common thing for people to experience at one point or another.
The Dog that Chased the Car….and Caught it!
Are you like the dog who chased a car and caught it? Then you finally got what you wanted, only to discover it wasn’t what you wanted at all. Now you don’t know what to do with this new old relationship. Getting your ex back quickly might not be what you really want at all. There’s a lot to consider.
In the end you may decide that life without your ex is a better and happier proposition for you. When you’ve made a decision, you may see that the desire to want to rekindle an old relationship was only making you miserable. Having your ex in your life could in fact make you feel worse than miserable long term.
Maybe you decide you don’t want to get back with your ex or maybe you decide that you really do ‘want my ex back’. These are all possibilities to consider. The important thing is to do what will make you feel better long term. Obviously, if you have children, you should consider their happiness and what is best for them.
If you’re still unsure about your current relationship (if you have one) and your feelings for your ex, have a phone reading with one of our professional psychics here.
Absolute Soul Secrets has many psychics available who can give you sound advice and provide guidance with the help of higher powers and spirit guides.
Not sure about a psychic phone reading? Why not have an email reading here?
We have more about relationship readings here.