Though dating can be really fun, it’s also quite nerve wrecking. You spend so many hours deciding where to go and what to wear that by the time your date rolls around, it’s hard to remain calm and collective.
Before you embark on a first date, take some time to gather your thoughts and emotions. Think about the person you are and the energy you’d like to emit. Above all, refrain from doing these four things:
Talking about yourself too much.
If you get nervous around your date, it’s easy to start rambling on about the subject you know best – yourself. Though it’s important to talk about yourself on a first date, you have to be careful to find the right balance. Not giving your date enough time to talk about themselves will make them feel unimportant or uninteresting, and it’s an easy way to take a date from good to bad. If you feel like you’ve spent too much time talking about yourself, try asking your date some questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.
Not talking about yourself enough.
You’re on a date for a reason – you want to get to know the other person, and the other person wants to get to know you. If you clam up and don’t talk about yourself much, they might assume that there’s nothing interesting about you. You might even lead them to believe that you’re unfriendly or not very social, neither of which leave a very good impression. Try telling a funny story about something that happened to you recently or talking about a cause that means a lot to you.
Being negative.
You should approach a first date the same way you would a job interview. Yes, you may have some complaints about your former boss, but an interview with a potential employer is not the time nor place to voice those frustrations. Dating is the same way – it’s best to hold negative comments about your family, ex boyfriend or best friend until a later time. If you start complaining about this or that on a first date, they might write you off as a negative person in general.
Trying to be someone you’re not.
It’s easy to be so focused on pleasing or entertaining your date that you forget to act like the person you really are. But putting on a false persona is something your date will certainly notice, and it won’t make you look good no matter how hard you try to keep up the charade. Besides, if you spend too much time trying to act like someone else, you don’t give your date a chance to get to know the real you, and you likely won’t learn much about your date either. Be yourself is common advice because it works!
First dates don’t always lead to second dates, and there’s nothing you can do to ensure your date will ask you out again. However, if you manage not to make any of the key mistakes explained above, your chances of having a great date increase ten fold.
Good luck out there, but remember – there’s plenty of fish in the sea.
