The 7 Stages of Grief: Navigating the Grieving Process Beyond Loss

multiple images of a woman going through different stages of grief

The 7 Stages of Grief: A Personal Journey Through Loss and Healing

Grief is a complex and deeply personal journey that everyone experiences differently. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or a major life transition, the emotional turmoil that follows can be overwhelming. Everyone has a unique response to loss - it's different for everyone. The concept of the 7 stages of grief has become a widely recognised framework, following on from Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first developed the 5 stages of grief model in her 1969 book "On Death and Dying".

These stages help people to make sense of their feelings and the complexities of grief. Then they can find a path forwards towards healing.

The journey through the 7 stages of grief is not linear, and the stages are not rigid steps that everyone will experience in the same order or for the same duration. Instead, they serve as a guide to understanding the myriads of emotions that can surface.

Understanding the 7 Stages of Grief

Understanding the 7 stages of grief can provide a roadmap for navigating this challenging process, offering insights into the emotions and experiences that may arise along the way. The stages include shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger, depression, the upward turn and reconstruction. Then working through the final stage of the grieving process - acceptance and hope. Each stage presents its own set of challenges and opportunities for growth, encouraging individuals to acknowledge their emotions and find ways to cope.

At the heart of the grieving process is the realisation that grief is not something to be "fixed" or "cured," but rather a testament to the depth of love and connection that has been lost. By exploring these stages, we can gain a deeper understanding of our own emotional distress and develop resilience. Ultimately, we can find a way to move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and hope.

Breaking Down the 7 Stages of Grief and Types of Grief

Understanding grief can be complex, as people often go through a range of emotions. The concept of the 7 stages of grief expands on the five stages of grief introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. It's important to note that not everyone goes through the stages in order, nor does every person experience all stages. Some individuals may experience prolonged grief or complicated grief, which can linger or intensify, making the healing process more difficult. Additionally, intense emotions may vary at different stages.

Loss comes in many forms. It’s not just about grieving a loved one who has passed away - it can also be mourning the end of a relationship, the loss of a friendship, or even feeling disconnected from someone who was once a big part of your life. No matter what kind of loss you’re experiencing, the grieving process is real, and it can be deeply painful. These feelings are natural, and learning to cope with them is crucial. People heal after experiencing loss at their own pace and understanding the stages of the grieving process can help. It's beneficial to understand that all feelings are valid and depend on individual circumstances.

Here are the Seven Stages of Grief:

1. Shock & Denial - "This Can’t Be Real"

The moment loss happens, the world feels like it just flipped upside down. There’s this strange sense of numbed disbelief as if your brain refuses to process what just happened. It's also common to go through the motions, making coffee, answering texts, even laughing at a joke - almost like nothing changed.

That’s the denial stage doing its job. It’s your mind’s way of protecting you from being completely overwhelmed all at once. Denial may take some time to go away. And honestly? That’s normal. Give yourself grace. The reality of loss sinks in gradually, not overnight.

2. Pain & Guilt - "Why Does This Hurt So Much?"

Once the shock wears off, the emotions come crashing in. The sadness, the ache in your chest, the overwhelming sense that something - or someone - is missing. You might find yourself replaying old memories, wondering if you could’ve done something differently.

Guilt creeps in, too. "Did I say enough?" "Did I do enough?" It’s easy to get stuck in the “what ifs,” but remember: grief isn’t about punishing yourself. It’s about feeling the loss, honouring it, and learning how to carry it forward.

3. Anger & Bargaining - "This Isn’t Fair"

At some point, frustration bubbles up. You might be mad at the Universe, at yourself, at the situation - maybe even at the person who’s gone. "Why did this happen?" "Why now?" You might even feel angry and have a whirlpool of associated feelings.

The Bargaining stage then sneaks in, too. "If only I had done this…" or "What if I had one more day?" It’s a desperate attempt to rewrite the past, to make sense of something that feels so unfair. But grief isn’t logical. And you don’t need to justify your emotions - just let them be.

4. Depression & Loneliness - "I Feel So Empty"

This is the stage where everything gets quiet. The calls and messages slow down. The world moves on, but you feel stuck. The weight of the loss settles in, and loneliness can hit hard. Depression may start and health and well-being can be considerably affected.

This part of the grieving process is tough, and it can feel endless. But here’s what you need to remember: You don’t have to go through it alone. Talking to a friend, journaling, or even just sitting with your emotions instead of pushing them away can help. And if it feels too heavy? Reach out for support. You don’t have to carry grief by yourself.

5. The Upward Turn - "Maybe I’ll Be Okay"

One day, you realise the pain isn’t as sharp. It doesn’t mean you’re “over it” (because grief doesn’t work like that), but the weight starts to lift, even if just a little. Maybe you catch yourself laughing at something, or you finally get a full night’s sleep. Small signs of healing start to appear, even if they feel unfamiliar at first.

6. Reconstruction & Working Through - "I’m Figuring Things Out"

Little by little, life starts moving again. You find ways to manage daily tasks, make decisions, and even set new goals. The loss is still there - it always will be - but it’s not consuming every moment anymore. This stage is about learning how to live with grief in order to heal. It does not have to define you.

7. Acceptance & Hope - "I Can Carry This and Move Forward"

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the pain disappears. It just means you’ve found a way to exist with the loss without it breaking you. You start to see hope again - maybe not the same hope you had before, but a new version of it. You begin to carry the love and the memories forward in a way that feels right for you. And that’s what healing looks like.

Grief Doesn’t Follow the Rules - And That’s Okay. If there’s one thing to take away from this, it’s that grief isn’t a checklist. You might bounce between these stages, skip some entirely, or revisit certain emotions unexpectedly. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong - it just means you’re human.

So, however, you’re grieving, know that there’s no timeline. There’s no perfect way to heal. But you don’t have to do it alone. Be patient with yourself, reach out for support, and take it one step at a time.

And most importantly - keep going.

Why the Grieving Process Isn’t Linear?

Grief isn’t linear; everyone experiences it differently. The stages of grief can offer a framework for understanding, but they cannot capture the full breadth of emotions. Everyone experiences grief differently and is influenced by factors such as the type of loss, whether due to terminal illness or sudden death and dying. Thus, the grief journey is unique for each person.

While the stages of grief can help individuals make sense of their feelings, they don’t necessarily occur in a set order. It’s not uncommon to revisit stages or skip some stages entirely. The reality of the loss can bring about unexpected emotions, and grief may manifest as anger one day and sadness the next. It’s common for people to question their feelings, wondering if they are grieving "correctly". While many people experience these emotions, some may seek professional help from a mental health professional to better navigate their emotions and develop effective coping strategies.

Understanding the different types of grief and recognizing when professional help is needed can be crucial in the healing process. To heal, it’s important to honour the grief and loss journey, validate emotions, and address any mental disorders that may arise. Ultimately, reaching the final stage of acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting; rather, it signifies a personal understanding and integration of the loss into one’s life.

Coping with Loss: Practical Coping Strategies to Support Your Healing

Grief has a way of making everything feel overwhelming. Some days, just getting out of bed can feel like an accomplishment. And while there’s no shortcut to healing, there are things you can do to support yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of loss.

Coping doesn’t mean “moving on” or forgetting - it means finding ways to care for yourself as you process what you’re going through. Below are some practical strategies to help you through the grieving process.

Allow Yourself to Feel (Even When It’s Hard)

One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that you have to be "strong" by pushing your emotions aside. But bottling up your feelings only makes them heavier.

Give yourself permission to feel everything - the sadness, the anger, the numbness, the confusion. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and no timeline you have to follow. Whatever emotions come up, let them.

Try:

Writing in a journal to process your thoughts.
Talking to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
Giving yourself space to cry, scream, or just sit in stillness when needed.

Take Care of Your Body, Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

Grief isn’t just emotional - it’s physical, too. You might feel exhausted, tense, or completely drained. It’s easy to forget about basic self-care when you’re deep in grief, but your body needs nourishment and rest to support your healing.

Small steps can make a big difference:

Drink water, even if you don’t feel thirsty.
Eat simple, nourishing meals (or let a friend help with food).
Try to move your body, even if it’s just a short walk.
Prioritise rest - grief can be exhausting, and your body needs sleep to recover. A minimum 7 to 9 hours of good sleep is required every day, in order to help you heal. The dreams you have will help to process your emotions, especially those lodged in your physical body.

Find Comfort in Routine

When everything feels uncertain, a simple routine can create a sense of stability. You don’t have to plan out your entire day - just focus on small, manageable steps.

Consider:

Setting a time to wake up and go to bed.
Creating little rituals, like making tea in the morning or journaling before bed.
Doing one small task each day to feel a sense of accomplishment.

Honour What (or Who) You Lost

Part of healing is figuring out how to carry your memories, love, and experiences forward - without letting them hold you back. Finding ways to honour what you lost can bring comfort, whether that’s a person, a relationship, or a version of yourself that no longer exists.

Some ideas:

Write a letter expressing everything you didn’t get to say.
Keep a small reminder, like a photo, song, or object that holds meaning.
Create a new tradition to honour the impact that person or relationship had on you.
Set up a ritual space where you meditate or pray.

Honouring the past doesn’t mean you’re stuck in it - it means you’re allowing yourself to integrate the love and lessons into your life moving forward.

Be Gentle with Yourself

Grief isn’t linear. Some days will feel okay, and others will feel impossible. Healing isn’t about “getting over” loss - it’s about learning how to carry it in a way that feels lighter over time.

Give yourself grace. You don’t have to “be strong” all the time. You don’t have to have everything figured out. You just have to take things one day, one moment at a time.

When grief feels overwhelming, remind yourself:

You are allowed to grieve in your own way.
You don’t have to “get over it” to heal.
Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting.
You are not alone in this.

Resources for Grieving: Where to Find Help and Support

Grief can make the world feel smaller, but there are so many resources, people, and communities out there to support you. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a deep personal change, there are resources and support systems available to help you navigate this journey.

Sometimes, all you need is a quiet space to process. Other times, you might crave guidance, connection, or just the reassurance that what you're feeling is normal. No matter where you are in the grieving process, here are some valuable resources to help support your healing.

Reach Out for Support

Grief can feel incredibly isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s friends, family, a therapist, or a support group, connecting with others can help lighten the emotional load.

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Sometimes, just having someone sit with you in your grief - without trying to “fix” anything - can be incredibly healing.

Professional Support If You Need It

If your grief feels too heavy to carry, or if it’s affecting your ability to function in daily life, reaching out for professional help can be a powerful step. If your grief process has been going on for several years, it might be time to speak to a therapist or grief counsellor. They can provide tools to help you process emotions and find a path forward.

Grief is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. There are resources and people who can support you through this. You can always give us a call if you prefer not to go to a counsellor.

Grief Counselling & Therapy

Speaking with a professional therapist or grief counsellor can be life-changing. They provide personalized support and practical tools to help you process emotions, find coping strategies, and work through complicated feelings.

Support Groups

Sometimes, talking to people who truly understand your grief makes all the difference. Support groups bring together individuals who have gone through similar losses, offering a safe space to share, listen, and heal together.

Types of support groups:

In-person grief groups – Many community centers, churches, and hospitals offer free grief support meetings.
Online support groups
Social media & forums

Mindfulness & Healing Practices

Grief isn’t just emotional - it affects the body and mind too. Healing practices like meditation, breathwork, and journaling can help process emotions in a gentle, non-verbal way.

Hotlines & Crisis Support

If your grief feels overwhelming or unbearable, please know that help is available immediately. You don’t have to suffer in silence. You can search for grief and emotional support hotlines in your home country.

Tip: Save these numbers in your phone, so you have them if you ever need them.

Creative Outlets for Expression

Grief often holds emotions that words can’t fully capture. Expressing yourself through art, music, or movement can be a powerful way to process pain and honour your emotions.

Art & Creativity for Grief:

Painting, sketching, or making a memory collage.
Writing poetry or songs about your experience.
Playing an instrument or listening to music that resonates with your feelings.

Even if you’re not “artistic,” expressing grief creatively is about release, not perfection.

Psychological Tools

Personality can influence how we experience grief, and tools like Enneagram Personality Testing can offer insights into personal coping mechanisms. Each type reacts differently to loss, so good accurate tools can help individuals and their loved ones navigate the process with more understanding.

Different personality types react differently to grief. Do you recognise any of these coping behaviours in yourself?

Enneagram Personality Types

1. The Reformer

May try to maintain control and focus on doing the "right" thing, even in the midst of loss.

2 Helper

Could focus on helping others while potentially neglecting their own grief.

3 The Achiever

Might throw themselves into productivity to avoid the emotional pain of grief.

4 Individualist

Is likely to deeply feel the loss and may struggle with feelings of being misunderstood.

5 The Investigator

Might retreat into solitude and intellectualize their grief to avoid emotional overwhelm.

6 Loyalist

May become anxious about their support system and feel a strong need for security during grief.

7 The Enthusiast

Could try to avoid the pain by distracting themselves with other activities or planning future events.

8 Challenger

Might show anger or frustration and resist vulnerability in the face of grief.

9 The Peacemaker

Could struggle to acknowledge the grief and may disengage or avoid the situation to maintain inner peace.

If you’re curious about how your Enneagram type influences your emotional responses to grief, you can take a free test to learn more about your type and how to navigate grief in a way that’s unique to you.

Finding Meaning Beyond the 7 Stages of Grief: Growth After Loss

Finding meaning beyond the 7 stages of grief involves navigating the ongoing process of bereavement in a way that fosters growth and healing.

Moreover, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person may experience feelings in their unique way. Understanding that it is a personal process can lead to ways to cultivate emotional health and resilience. Growth after loss is about integrating the experience into one's life story and finding ways to enhance one's emotional well-being. It is about learning that while grief is a natural response, it can also be a transformative journey that leads to a deeper understanding of oneself and the world around them.

Navigating Life After Loss: Moving Forward While Honouring the 7 Stages of Grief

Navigating life after loss is a deeply personal process that varies for each individual. It involves an ongoing process of moving forward while honouring your grief. It's crucial to understand that the process doesn't follow a particular order, and one might experience feelings of shock, anger, or feelings of emptiness at any stage in the grieving process. Grief can come in waves, impacting your emotional well-being and emotional health.

But in time, healing doesn’t mean forgetting - it means learning to live again. Carrying your loss in a way that allows you to grow. It’s about finding meaning in what was, embracing the lessons it brought, and allowing yourself to step into a new chapter with resilience and self-compassion. Whether through self-reflection, seeking support or simply granting yourself grace on the hard days, healing is a journey through the 7 stages of grief. Honour the past and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.

Posted in Personal Development, Spiritual Healing

Author: Rose Smith

Previous Article Next Article